Do you wish your family could spend more time together – real-time? Not just a few minutes in the same space as you lurch from one obligation to the next, but meaningful time. What parent doesn’t?
These days it’s harder than ever for families to spend quality time together, with so many demands on our time and energy. You may be working two or even three jobs to pay the bills, and by the time you get home, you just want to relax and watch TV. If you have teenagers, they’re probably working part-time or participating in after-school sports and clubs or managing to juggle work, school, and extracurriculars all at once. And always while scrolling through the screen on their phone. (You’re probably guilty of social media obsession too, right?)
It must seem like the only time your family spends with each other is in the car on the way to some obligation. Family dinner? Too often, it’s the drive-thru lane. Even when you’re together, everyone is so distracted they might as well not even be there.
But the busier you are, the more critical it is to make sure you’re engaging in meaningful summer family activities.
The good news is you don’t have to add a whole new set of activities to your already packed schedule. In fact, summer provides an excellent time to spend quality time as a family. And with a few simple changes, you can make your existing activities more meaningful as well.
We have some ideas. But before planning these summer family activities that will benefit both you and your children, it helps to understand why they do.
Why Family Time Is Important
It’s all about family engagement, which occurs when parents and children connect in a positive, loving, happy way. It can pay off in everything from school performance to social relationships and career success.
The most significant benefit may be your child’s grades. According to youth.gov, a U.S. government website that promotes healthy outcomes for youth, research on family engagement in education “shows that parental or family engagement in a child’s education can improve their test scores, attendance, social skills, relationships, behavior and how a child feels about school . . . Kids who are connected feel safe, secure, supported and are ready to learn.”
Family time has that effect in other areas of life. Here are five ways it can strengthen family relationships:
It enhances family bonds
Spending time together can lead to stronger relationships within the family. As you share good times, you build positive memories, which create positive feelings. This strengthens the family’s bonds with each other, which you can call on in hard times. You see each other as a strong, cohesive unit, unified and robust enough to face challenges together.
It helps you, the parent, learn good parenting skills
It’s the parents’ job to model the behaviors their children will perform in adulthood. Seeing positive family relationships shows the children how responsible adults behave and demonstrates how enjoyable it can be to build a family. It also offers opportunities to show how to handle less happy behavior. Even the most fun activities can have stressful moments. Kids get tired and cranky; ball games get rained out; movies get sold out. Children who see their parents react calmly and rationally at these times are more likely to emulate the behavior when they become parents.
Engaged children have fewer behavioral problems
Children often misbehave because they don’t know any other way to get their parents’ attention. They are less likely to act out if their parents pay attention to them. This doesn’t mean devoting every spare minute to them, but showing them that you are available when they need you can prevent many behavior problems. If they know they can come to you with their problems and will listen without judgment, they are more likely to behave responsibly.
It helps keep kids away from alcohol and drugs
Again and again, research has found that family involvement has a significant impact on teens’ use of drugs and alcohol. “Generally, positive family influences, such as family bonding and consistent rules, appear to reduce the risk of tobacco, marijuana, and other drug abuse among teens, while negative family influences tend to increase risk,” the National Institute on Drug Abuse has reported.
It builds self-esteem
Youths whose parents spend time with them are happier and more confident. Healthy parent and child relationships result from the simple act of showing your child that they are worth your time. This will build their self-confidence in their ability to try new things and develop relationships outside the family.
10 Ideas for Summer Family Activities
You don’t have to create complicated family activities or spend a lot of time on them. Trips to Disney World, fishing outings, and ball games are great if you can afford them, but what kids want from you is just your time and attention. Maybe you’re hungering for more of your children’s attention too.
Here are 10 ideas for summer family activities that can begin strengthening your parent-child relationship. Some involve large amounts of time, but most are just ways to make existing activities matter more.
1. Play Together:
Stream a movie, play a board game or try some karaoke. Be sure to have plenty of refreshments. Make it a weekly event and let the kids take turns deciding what everyone will do.
Creating these weekly events like this during summer break will make it a habit your family can carry into the school year as well.
2. Take a Walk Together:
Or a bike ride or a swim or a skate – anything that gets you all outside in the fresh air and away from screens. Ask the older kids to help the younger ones if they’re a little shaky; it will raise both youths’ self-esteem.
3. Dine Together:
Try to sit down at least once a day for a meal together. Institute one simple rule: No screens! Put away the electronics (including yours) and talk to each other about current events, hobbies and activities or just how everyone’s day went. Consider asking everyone to answer an interesting question, like “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” If dinnertime is just too busy, consider making breakfast the family meal. The day hasn’t had a chance to make any demands, and the meal can be simple and quick – not to mention no one can skip this “most important meal of the day.”
4. Pray Together:
You’ll stay together, or so goes the old saying. If religion isn’t your thing, try meditation or simply taking a few minutes together to relax and think.
5. Spend Time One on One:
Once a week or even once a month, one parent pairs up with one child, and they spend special time together. It’s a great bonding experience and gives the child a chance to open up to you without worrying about sibling interference.
6. Take a Family Vacation:
You don’t have to go far away or take a plane, with all the headaches and hassle it can involve. Many families say their favorite summer family vacations were the road trips they took in the car. You’ll probably want to allow screen time at some point just for everyone’s sanity, but consider declaring an electronics break and insisting that everyone talk to each other. Or how about one of those old-fashioned car games, like spotting the alphabet on license plates or roadside signs?
7. Make a Big Deal:
When birthdays roll around, don’t settle for an ordinary “Happy Birthday.” Make a big deal – no, make a HUGE deal. Decorate their room with confetti and balloons while they’re sleeping, so they’ll wake up to a birthday fantasy land created just for them. Or make a gigantic card that’s the first thing they see in the morning.
8. Make a Holiday:
It’s Billy Day! Make up a holiday in your child’s name and celebrate it on a Tuesday. If you want to make a child feel special, this is how you do it.
9. Coach Your Child’s Team:
Volunteering to lead their sports team or some other fun activity encourages them to participate, especially if they’re shy and uncertain about their abilities. Find some fun summer activities that you and your child can get involved in. They’ll be forever grateful that you care enough to help.
10. Read Together:
Make reading a happy experience for your children, and they’ll be hooked. Have a family reading night or a family book club where you discuss a book you read in the previous week. It doesn’t have to be a serious book; just make it something engaging and enjoyable. Reading time doesn’t have to be this formal, either; 30 minutes spent reading to or with your child at bedtime is more than enough.
Sidebar
Family Education: Raising the B.A.R.
To learn more strategies for strengthening your family relationships, consider taking parenting education classes. Parenting is a tough job, and the more help you get, the better a parent you’ll be.
You can find parenting classes online like the ones offered by Be Strong International’s Raising the B.A.R. Parenting Alliance Program.
Raising the B.A.R. offers free online and in person workshops that include topics such as how to raise responsible teenagers, how to improve the communication with your children, positive parenting and more! To check out our workshops schedule and sign up, visit Raising the B.A.R. Parenting Alliance work shops schedule.
