Heart Skills® Assessment

Discover how you show up in your relationships.

Discover where you are across the five chambers of the heart, and what is possible from here. This assessment works for any close relationship: romantic partners, family members, co-parents, or friends.

40 questions 5 chambers 5–7 minutes Free
0 of 40 answered 0%
1

Connect

Outcome:Safety

1/5
1I feel emotionally safe being honest with this person.
2When I share something vulnerable, I trust it will be handled with care.
3I feel genuinely heard and understood in this relationship.
4I am able to express my real feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.
5This person shows up for me consistently in the small everyday moments.
6I feel comfortable bringing my real self — including my struggles — to this relationship.
7When I reach out for connection I generally feel met with presence.
8I feel seen and understood for who I actually am, not just the version I present.
2

Commit

Outcome:Stability

2/5
1I actively choose to invest in this relationship even when it costs me something.
2I feel a sense of stability and security in this relationship.
3I protect this relationship from outside pressures, criticism, and influences.
4I keep what is private between us private.
5I speak about this person with respect and loyalty when they are not present.
6We have a shared understanding of what this relationship means to both of us.
7I show up for this person consistently, not only when it is convenient for me.
8I have a clear sense of where this relationship is heading and why it matters.
3

Grow

Outcome:Strength

3/5
1I am aware of the patterns I tend to bring into conflict in this relationship.
2I can usually recognize when I am triggered before I react.
3I am able to manage my emotional responses before they cause damage I did not intend.
4I take responsibility for my part in difficulties without deflecting or blaming.
5I can admit when I am wrong without it feeling threatening.
6I am genuinely growing in the areas this relationship asks the most of me.
7I understand how my past experiences shape how I show up here.
8After a difficult moment I take time to reflect on what I could have done differently.
4

Forgive

Outcome:Freedom

4/5
1I am not carrying significant unresolved resentment toward this person.
2When I am hurt I am able to name it and work through it rather than bury it.
3I have genuinely let go of past hurts that no longer need to define this relationship.
4I believe meaningful repair is possible after difficulty between us.
5I do not bring up past mistakes as weapons in present conflicts.
6I am able to offer genuine forgiveness when someone has hurt me.
7When I have hurt this person I take full responsibility without minimizing or deflecting.
8I feel emotionally free in this relationship rather than weighed down by history.
5

Breakthrough

Outcome:Transformation

5/5
1I experience genuine joy and lightness in this relationship.
2I am able to see this person with fresh eyes rather than through old stories.
3This relationship has a sense of forward momentum and shared purpose.
4I feel transformed — not despite the hard seasons but meaningfully through them.
5We celebrate good moments and wins together with real presence and gratitude.
6I genuinely believe the best of this relationship is still ahead of us.
7I have a clear and hopeful vision for where this relationship is going.
8This relationship brings out a version of me that I am proud of.