Be Strong International to Host its Hearts in Rhythm Charity Event – A Celebration of Philanthropy

Renowned Community Leaders to be Awarded during the Event

Be Strong International will host its annual Charity Event on Thursday, April 27th at The Rusty Pelican, located in Key Biscayne, FL. This occasion is a celebration of philanthropy, as guests take in all the rhythm of our hearts and meet exciting people during a fabulous night filled with fun, live entertainment, and exquisite cuisine. As part of their ongoing fundraising efforts, Be Strong International’s Hearts in Rhythm Charity Event is where Miami’s philanthropists meet to celebrate the tremendous impact their donations will have among the most vulnerable populations living in South Florida.

“We are excited to have our annual Hearts in Rhythm Charity Event to help us continue all the services we have brought to the community over the past 30 years. We aim to become a national service provider that focuses intently on seeing individuals, families and communities become whole”, said Michelle Shirley, CEO of Be Strong International. “Teaching the importance of heart skills education is our main goal, and only with community support, can we continue to make this goal a reality”, Shirley added.

This year, the highlights of the event include an elegant sit-down dinner with picturesque views of the Miami skyline and waterfront, LED light show, DJ, live performances, and the presentation of the “Making Our Community Stronger” Awards, among other exciting activities.

The honorees for this year’s awards are Baldwyn English, External Affairs Manager at Florida Power and Light Company, Grant Miller and Michael Miller, Publishers at Miami’s Community Newspapers, Patrick Morris, Director of Civic and Philanthropic Partnerships at Miami-Dade County Office of the Mayor, Angela Ramos, Director of Community Empowerment at Univision Local Media Miami, and Angelica Santibanez, Senior Manager of Community Engagement at Amazon. The host of the evening will be Brittnie Bassant, President and CEO of ChamberSOUTH.

Proceeds from ticket sales and all donations made will directly benefit youth and families. Be Strong International aims to invest in the expansion of programs and services that serve low-income communities in Miami-Dade and Broward, through improved organizational capacity and reach.

Brittnie Bassant – President and CEO of ChamberSOUTH hosts Michelle Shirley, CEO & Chief Heart Officer of Be Strong International!

Watch as they talk about Michelle’s upbringing, her journey through her leadership at Be Strong Intl, and much more! Thank you to Brittnie to welcoming Michelle and Be Strong Intl to your show and allowing us to share our mission with your audience! To our friends at Miami Community Newspapers, it’s always a pleasure!

The rising influence of societal issues has negatively affected parenting. Many parents are perplexed about raising their children morally upright without worrying about peer pressure and negative character. There’s a need to nurture a child’s physical, social, moral, and emotional development. One of the advisable ways to do this is by improving the parent-child relationship. Good relationships can help improve your children’s future and reduce home stress. The quality of child and parent relationships is important to children’s development. 

How parents relate to their children can profoundly affect how children develop social and emotional competencies, gain self-control, and learn to solve problems, interact with others, and become responsible adults. Remember the saying, “Charity begins at home”? Yes, it begins at home—how you raise and interact with your kid has a ripple effect on their relationship with others in school, society, and family, and it all starts with you. 

We all want the best for our kids, but it can be challenging to remember when facing a vocal teenager or an immature tween. Do you want to improve your relationship with your children? Here are six proven ways how to do it: 

1. Gain Their Trust. 

Kids are comfortable around people who make them feel easy. One of the best ways to build or improve a healthy relationship with your child is to gain their trust. What does this mean? It requires a two-pronged effort. It means you have to prove to them you are on their side while trying to keep your interactions with them as positive as you can. The side-effect of this is a friendly bond. Your child shouldn’t perceive you as a villain or enemy to conquer. They need to trust and depend on you. 

Children need parents. If your main goal is to be their friend and not their parent, they might not listen to you when you try to influence them. Friends tend to always say yes to us. but sometimes parents need to say “no.” As much as you can, try to remain kind to your children, they’ll get  close and find you easy to talk to. Kids need someone who will listen to them, encourage them and be there for them when things go wrong. If you don’t gain their trust, it’s going to be difficult for them to heed your advice when you give it to them.

Gain your children’s trust and you will see your relationship with them improve.

2. Show them affection and love. 

 One of the most important things parents can do is show affection toward their children. This doesn’t mean hugging them when they’ve just spilled juice on the couch (although that would be nice), but it does mean letting them know they’re important to you by being patient when they’re having a hard time learning or by giving them extra attention when they’ve done something special or complex. Your child needs to feel loved, but it can be challenging to express your love for your child. The best thing you can do is to show affection in many different ways. Hug, kiss, and tell your child you love them daily. Children need to hear this message repeatedly to know you love them.

Young children need physical contact with their parents. They need hugs and kisses and cuddles. They need to hear and know they are loved and valued by their parents, who are the most important people in their lives. Showing love in words and actions builds children’s trust. If you don’t show affection this way, your child will feel unloved or unwanted. This can lead to problems with self-esteem, anxiety, and depression later in life.

3. Be supportive.

Your actions or inactions are a huge deal to your child. Children love to be seen, supported, and celebrated. Say, your child has a competition at school; your presence will mean a lot more than a gift or apology. Be available when they need you and be ready to support their aspiration, fun, academics, extracurricular activities, etc. When praising your child, use descriptive praise. This type of praise includes the reason you are praising them in the actual praise. For example, if you want to let them know you are proud of them because they got a high grade on a test you could say “I’m proud of you for earning an A+ on the test!” instead of “good job!” This way your child will hear what they did to earn them praise. This will increase the probability they will repeat their behavior in the future.

Praising your children also helps build positive relationships because it shows you’re proud of them.

4. Listen actively.

Your children have a lot to say, and they need an adult who will listen to them. They might want advice or someone to hear them out without judgment or interruption. If your child comes to you with a problem, let them know you’re willing and available to hear them. 

Don’t dismiss what they are saying; listen and let them know what they have to say is important to you. When kids feel heard and understood, it makes it easier for them to open up about other things in the future when they need help or advice. A child who finds you trustworthy will tell you all details of their day in school, interaction with friends and other concerns. 

When was the last time you sat with your child to catch up on their week? You can do this over lunch or dinner or during a family hangout. Better still, talk to your child privately. Please don’t assume that living together means seeing or hearing everything, and it doesn’t also translate to quality time. Dedicate ample time to converse, play games and have fun with your kids. Understand that, as they grow, having certain discussions such as puberty, sex and relationship may become difficult. Still, you must find your way around it and make it easy for them to speak by gaining their trust and listening attentively. 

Healthy relationships can occur if you listen and take action. If you consistently interject your conversation with your child without understanding, they will not tell you important things. Learn to listen to their side of the story. Yes, kids have emotions, and they can display them. 

5. Be a good role model. 

Children learn by watching what adults do. If you expect them to do something because they know it’s the right thing. So make sure you’re doing the right thing yourself, and they’ll follow suit. They learn from what you say and do. In fact, they know more from the things you do in their presence. Improving your relationship with your kids requires intentionality. Parents can set a good example by having strong relationships with their parents and siblings. Children learn how to treat others by watching how their parents treat others, including family members and strangers.

Children also learn from what they see parents do daily. If a parent works hard at their job, the child will likely follow suit when it comes time for them to enter the workforce. If the parent takes care of their appearance daily, the child will do likewise.

Children with good relationships with their parents also tend to have better relationships with others. Children learn to interact positively with others through interactions with their parents over time.

Parents should also try discussing issues that may be causing a rift in their relationship with their children so they can come up with solutions together before things get too bad between them. Parents should also be aware of their behavior and strive to ensure it’s consistent with their values. For example, a parent who often yells at people or uses negative words will indirectly make the child think it’s normal behavior.

6. Exercise patience with them.

Kids are special and should be treated as such. Relating with them shouldn’t be forced- an uneasy relationship demoralizes them. Children need boundaries and rules to feel secure and successful in life. While this is true for all children, it is vital for those with special needs or disabilities to require extra support from their parents or caregivers.

 If you want your child to behave well and do what is right, make sure they understand what you require of them at all times. Give them enough time to learn to comply with these expectations without being punished when they don’t follow them immediately (or at all).

CONCLUSION

No one gets a perfect hang of parenting; you learn every day. We have shared some healthy relationship tips to maintain and improve parent-child relationships. Aside from general parenting advice, the best way to enhance parent-child relationships is communication. Communicating with your child not only allows you to teach your child how to interact with others and handle themselves in different situations properly, but it also gives you a chance to learn more about your child’s hopes, aspirations, and worries. 

Ultimately, you must understand your child and not compare them with their siblings or other children. Pay attention and truly listen to your children; you will see what methods work best for improving your parent-child relationships with them. 

Meet other parents right here in Miami-Dade at Be Strong International’s Ready to Talk, a free parent communication workshop to improve interaction, learn heart skills, gain your children’s trust and build a healthy and long-lasting relationship with them. The workshop will help you overcome communication barriers, build healthy relationship skills, and provide practical sessions for raising good and competent kids and teens. 

The workshops are designed to help you raise kids and teens without hassle and guilt while following practical ways and learning from other parents who share great values.

Parents participating in the Ready to Talk parenting workshop will have the opportunity to learn new tactics and heart skills they can apply to raising their children. We give adults the tools and resources to address healthy relationships amongst parents and children while maintaining a non-threatening and supportive environment. These workshops are offered in English, Spanish and Creole.

Join any of the upcoming workshops in Miami-Dade at bestrongintl.org/upcomingevents. 

If you have any questions, you may contact our Parent Facilitators here. 

Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses. It doesn’t come with an instruction manual and can often become a bit overwhelming. Couples may appear similar on the surface but no two people are the same, making the union of two souls a delicate game.

Here we’ll share some of the secrets to having and maintaining a healthy marriage:

1. Invest time in one another
2. Show each other respect
3. Discover yourself first
4. Look for intimacy and similar interests
5. Achieve better communication
6. Look for the best in one another
7. Be forgiving of one another

Invest time in one another

Married couples benefit from spending quality time together.  Scheduling date nights or weekend activities is a fantastic way to achieve this special time with your spouse. This time can help you better understand each other, your differences and how to resolve any issues that could come up. Healthy marriages require both quality and quantity.

Show each other respect

The foundation of any relationship is respect.  Treating your partner as you would like to be treated will strengthen your bond. Paying your partner a compliment is a quick and easy way to show them respect. When a couple fails to respect each other, they often slip into negative habits. Research shows that toxic criticism can damage the connection between couples.  It’s important to be mindful of when, how often, and your tone (respect) when criticizing your partner.

Discover yourself first

Many couples begin relationships without fully understanding who they are first. Knowing yourself better can help you develop as a person and as a partner to your spouse. Once you know yourself  you can then make a commitment to learning new things about your spouse.  Just think of the relationship you will have over the course of a lifetime together.

Look for intimacy and similar interests

Intimacy between a married couple can add a new level of happiness and closeness. It’s important to keep in mind that intimacy does not always correlate to sexuality. Learn the differences between emotional and physical closeness. Offering your partner one type when they need the other might strain your union.

When couples have similar interests, they prosper. Similar interests are essential for building a healthy marriage. The goal is to have something outside of your family that you and your spouse can enjoy together. That doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy every activity, but it does allow for more sharing and compromise.

Achieve better communication

Communication is key to a healthy marriage. When it comes to resolving conflicts that inevitably emerge in relationships, effective communication can go a long way. Never assume your partner is aware of your thoughts or emotions and knows when to just listen. Books, marital education workshops, and online courses are among the various tools available to help partners improve their listening skills in a marriage.

Be forgiving of one another

Forgiveness is a crucial virtue in a marriage. Your partner will do something that hurts, irritates, or upsets you at some point in your marriage. Given that nobody is flawless, try to give your spouse some compassion. If you make a mistake, admit it right away and make the necessary repairs. By doing this, you can enhance your marriage and promote forgiveness.

Look for the best in each other

You fell in love with some of your partner’s excellent qualities when you first met him/her. Your perception of said qualities may have shifted over time. Give each other the benefit of the doubt. Make a list of everything you appreciate in your spouse. It will guide you to falling in love all over again.

Marriage Matters to Be Strong

A strong and “healthy marriage” ultimately creates a strong and “healthy family.” And an organization that’s helping married couples to become a better, more unified union is Be Strong International. Be Strong is a Miami-based non-profit that empowers youth and families — to go from brokenness to wholeness.

Be Strong has a program called Marriage Matters that helps guide married couples. The objective of their program is to help couples, at all stages, create and maintain a healthy marriage.

As Be Strong also states, some of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage include:

• Connection
• Commitment
• Giving
• Respect
• Trust
• Intimacy

Relationship counseling  can be the first step to help with marriage problems. Online marriage education and relationship counseling  are not widely discussed topics, but we need to start the conversation to make a difference. Getting marriage education can be a difficult topic, but there’s no need to be scared. Be Strong is there to guide you into having a healthy marriage.

“We believe that marriage gives, and when couples focus on this as a principle, then all other aspects tend to emerge or improve marriage relationships.”

For more information on Be Strong’s Marriage Matters program, click here to visit their website!

Check out last month’s Marriage Matters Ceremony Night. Click here to view the gallery.

I used to be a person that hated confrontation. Even the simplest disagreement would make me shudder. I don’t know if it’s because of what I witnessed as a small child, but I think watching my parents argue and seeing arguments turn into physical altercations really affected the way I approached disagreements and how I shrank at the thought of someone being upset with me after a conflict. I remember my first real and intense disagreement with my boss/mentor. She was an older, much more experienced, and strong-willed woman that knew what she wanted and how things should go. I was a young college graduate who felt like textbook knowledge alone qualified me to challenge many of her decisions. While I was young and “passionate” about my ideas, she was the first real experience I had of genuine workplace disagreement and conflict.

When I Realized We Need X-Men and Not Yes Men

I remember walking into her office one day and saying, “You really could have handled that better and that person feels hurt that they didn’t get the promotion.” I can’t remember what her response was now, but it was the normal, “it’s part of life – that person needs to know that it is not their time yet as they are not ready.” I explained that while I understood that, and maybe she was right, the way she handled it upset me the most. I was habitually the peacemaker, and while I was happy to be a savior, I was annoyed that I was the buffer at the same time, which meant I took a lot of heat behind closed doors that most team members didn’t realize. I still remember the moment I realized that I was beginning to feel comfortable with intense debates. During a heated discussion, which I felt was going nowhere, I eventually said, “Hey, I’m hungry. What do you want me to get you for lunch?”

You may be thinking…, “OK? What part of that statement changed the game for her?” But, it was not the statement, but the action. The action said to both her and me that I cared about her well-being and that our relationship wouldn’t change based on our current disagreement. The statement/question wasn’t a cop-out to change the subject or avoid the conflict altogether; it just showed me that I could see past our differences and still be human toward her. I had grown up feeling like, after a disagreement, no one gave a crap about what each other wanted, so there was no point in continuing the relationship either. That’s what I witnessed as a child, and it was difficult to understand that you could disagree with someone, get into a heated debate with them, and still care about them.

Thinking deeper about my workplace transformation, I realized I cared deeply about the team members and the business. It resulted in my talking through and respectfully questioning my mentor. And while it was a nerve-wracking experience initially, I realized she came to value our discussions over time. I eventually realized that the heated conversations were only the beginning. I learned that what really was of service to my mentor was the fact that she didn’t want to have what I call just a “yes” person on her team, especially when it came to big decisions that could cause ripple effects within the organization.

What is a Yes Man?

“Yes Men” are people who, without question, do whatever the leader asks of them, even when they know there may be a better option or idea. Perhaps this attitude is analogous to the “quiet quitting” phenomenon. Either way, Yes Men usually don’t want to deal with confrontations or simply don’t care enough to challenge the leader to discuss an alternative solution. There could be all sorts of reasons why people become Yes Men. I knew it would be in the best interest of and beneficial for the leader and the business to speak up if I knew better alternatives to a situation or process.

How to Turn Into an X-Man

Eventually, I got promoted not only because I was dedicated to my work and did the job but because I gained her trust. After a few years of working together, she knew I wanted her and her business to succeed. I wanted the company to grow, and I wanted to help her continue to build her legacy.

Today, as an executive, I made it very clear to my executive team that I do not want Yes Men around me. I need to be told that my idea sucks or, “Hey, that needs a bit more thought.” It helps me remain humble and allows me to get help in growing the business when people see they have a part to play in the solution and overall performance of the company. X-Men hone into their strengths, heart skills, and stick up for what they believe in. They use their voice and know that disagreements are good and provide a diversity of solutions.  

Some questions you may want to ask yourself when determining if you’re a yes-man are:

1. Am I afraid to challenge ideas with better and more efficient solutions?
2. Am I highly concerned about conflict over providing helpful support to the team?
3. Am I delivering my own ideas? 

My advice to everyone, whatever your role may be, is to speak up. Offer solutions to your boss and team. You may come up with an out-of-the-box idea that works the best. It benefits all parties, including yourself, when you find your voice, develop heart skills, and empower others to feel they can as well. Don’t just be a “Yes Man.” Find your superpower and transform from a “Yes Men” to an “X-Men.” 

If you’re in need of transforming your workplace from a team of “Yes Men” to “X-Men” contact us at Be Strong International and tap into the heart skills needed to empower your team.

Michelle Shirley

We all want to have friends in our lives, don’t we? So why is it so hard sometimes? Sure, you might have moments where you think you’ll be friends forever, but why does it fall apart? The truth is most friendships tend to wear out. Making new friends is easy, but keeping those friends is real work. However, keeping your friends and building lasting friendships is possible. 

That doesn’t mean there aren’t some factors that foster lasting friendships. Stellar friends are like god-sent people who can be more bonded to you than a sibling or relative. They help go through life at all times- good and bad. That’s why you need good friends. The idea of friendship is awesome because you can’t do life alone; you need amazing people to do life with you. 

Think of the days when you had a personal dealing and a friend showed up and had your back. If you had no friend to speak with at the time, the situation might get out of hand and lead to depression. When your friends give you their shoulders to lean on, you feel relieved even if you haven’t found a solution to the problem. 

Building lasting friendships depends more on who you are than your friends; your personality and commitment to friendship determine how impactful it will be. 

What is friendship? 

Friendship is a mutual connection between two or more people. It can be described as a social and emotional bond between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. It is beyond physical dates, laughs and chats. The real bond of friendship is of the heart. 

Reasons why friendships do not last

Friendship isn’t just meant to survive; it ought to thrive. There are many reasons why friendships end. The most obvious one is that people grow apart. They change, have different interests, or just lose interest in being friends. People also end friendships when there is a betrayal of trust, or someone does something hurtful. In some cases, it’s because of social media — people can get into arguments or spread rumors about each other online, leading to real-life problems. Other reasons why friendships do not last are: 

• Distance
• You do not have enough time for your friend
• You choose the wrong friends 
• Lack of commitment 
• Unrealistic expectations 
• Different interests and priorities 

What are the tips for lasting friendships? 

What’s the secret to a life filled with lasting friendships? Am I friends with an old elementary school teacher on Facebook because we enjoyed wine together once? No. The only way building friendships last is through meaningful and caring interactions and heart skills. 

 You may be looking to make your friendship with your best friends or group of friends better, but like money, good conversation and friends do not grow on trees, so I’ve compiled some tips and tricks for building lasting friendships, this tips are helpful to nurture your friendship amongst your childhood friends too:  

1. Be a good listener

Every friendship demands that you have regular conversations; in the middle of conversing with your friend(s), topical and sensitive issues might be discussed, while at it be calm with reassuring gestures such as nodding, giving a warm pat on the back, and hug tightly after the conversation. 

During a deep or sensitive conversation, if you are meeting your friend physically, say affirming positive words after some clauses, and encourage your friend to breathe in and out. It is also important to avoid talking about your problem at that time. Focus on your friend. 

If the conversation is a piece of good news or a friendly chat, join in the cheerful gestures and express the best countenance for the moment. 

Listen without judgment, do not speak or intercept the conversation abruptly; this will help you understand what your friend is feeling and put you in a better position to help them. After the conversation, don’t forget to ask how you can be of help. 

2. Be available/make time for your friends.

There is a popular saying, “A friend in need is a true friend indeed.” Friends expect your presence and availability in many ways- both the good and bad days. Think of a friend who lost her brother; you are her closest pal in town. When she called to share her distress, she would expect you to visit as soon as possible. True friendship love cannot be quantified!

Or a friend who is getting married next week and has done some other celebrations in the past such as graduation, housewarming and retirement party but you didn’t show; you may begin to pass a message of unavailability and lack of love. 

If you have been invited, you must show up or call if you cannot make it there. Create ample time for your friends when they need you or your intuition says so. Say a phone call or text to check up on them and remind them how much you love them.

 Because out of sight can be out of mind. If you have a group of friends who live in different towns, you can plan an annual vacation or summer holiday, or a hang-out can be planned during the birthday of one of your friends. It helps to cement the bond and make it last longer. 

3. Make an effort to resolve conflicts quickly.

There is no perfect person, which means you can’t have a perfect friend or friend. You are bound to make mistakes, which can happen intentionally or unintentionally in your friendship. 

 When your friend hurts or despairs you, to make the friendship thrive and foster, call and make an effort to resolve the conflict quickly rather than resent your feelings. Don’t dwell on the cause of conflict for long. Instead, communicate your feelings, discuss a solution and forgive easily. 

4. Love your friends for who they are, not what they do

People who make friends based on what their friends can offer fall off the cliff on dark days. When we don’t appreciate our friends for who they are, we lose them. You have to love your friends for their quirks, flaws and imperfections. 

We must accept them and not expect them to change for us or anyone else. This is an important rule for lasting friendships. 

Don’t judge your friends based on their appearance or background because there’s more to every person than meets the eye — everyone has their own story; everyone has their struggles; everyone has their hopes and dreams; everyone has their fears; everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; everyone makes mistakes (just like you). 

Be open-minded to love your friends despite their differences. 

We should never try to change your friends because deep down inside, we know that we can’t change people who don’t want to be changed. 

It also implies that we must not love our friends in seasons. We must love them in and out of seasons. Kindness to your CEO friend should not diminish when you are with your waitress friend.  

5. Follow the golden rule of friendship.

Treat others how you’d want them to treat you! It’s easy to take people closest to you for granted. Make sure your friends know how much you love them by treating them well! Love is the greatest language; people love to be loved in the right acts or words at the right time. The golden rule is simple- do to others what you want them to do to you. Be a good friend too. 

Don’t do anything outside this rule except if you want to ruin your friendship. Remember that your friends will likely reciprocate your energy and commitment towards them. 

If you want to show up for you, show up for them. You will receive the same measure of love or more when you buy gifts, make calls, share in their pain, and celebrate with them. The golden rule should remind you to keep your friendship motive and commitment. With the golden rule, your friendships can last a lifetime. 

6. Be a good friend too

This appears to be the most salient point amongst others. Building a lasting friendship requires that you are a good friend yourself. 

Be generous with your time and make it a priority to be there for your friends when they need you — even if it means rescheduling an appointment or saying no to an invitation so you can catch up with them instead. If you aren’t a good friend, why should anyone want to be friends with you? Learn to be kind, honest and loyal. Do what is expected from a good friend.  

If your goal is to build lasting friendships, you might want to consider the tips we’ve outlined above. We have touched on some things you can do to improve your friendship skills and make quality friendships last. 

If you put these principles into action, chances are your friendships will get a lot better. 

And if you’re already working towards improving your heart skills and social circle, you might find yourself on the road to that goal in no time if you are ready to be intentional about your deeds. 

Looking to build on your strong relationship with your friends? Play Be Strong International’s Social Yaks game. Social Yaks is a card game created to help increase engagement among individuals and build social cohesion within communities. It’s great for all kinds of groups, from strangers to best friends or couples because there’s always something new to learn about each other. 

Click here to learn more about Social Yaks and purchase the game.

Are you a single parent? If you are, it turns out you’re in good company. Single-parent families are very common, and as a single mom or dad, we here at Be Strong International (Be Strong) want you to feel empowered and know that there is nothing to be ashamed of when leading a single-parent life. 

According to the Pew Research Center Fact Tank, almost a quarter of U.S. children under the age of 18 live with one parent and no other adults. That means 23% of the country’s children live in single-parent homes.

While raising a child can be difficult under any circumstance, it is well recognized that it can be harder when you’re doing it on your own.

Whether divorced, separated, widowed, or simply being a single parent by choice, it can equal being encumbered with various commitments and responsibilities that include emotional, financial, and social bearings. These can have a negative impact on anybody’s well-being, as well as that of their children and dependents. However, Be Strong is here to support single parents in many ways through programs, events, and games. We are a non-profit organization in South Florida that has worked with youth and families here for 30 years.

With demanding work schedules and life having a way of throwing curve balls, what is most important is how you, as a mom or dad, maneuver single parenthood gracefully.

There can sometimes be talk about single-parent families’ having issues and the disadvantages to the youth and society, but focusing on the weaknesses and problems doesn’t help single parents and their children become stronger individuals. At Be Strong, we provide parents and children with tools to make better decisions about their lives. This can help lead to a more promising future for you, your children, and your community.

Let’s explore how being a strong and strategic single parent can be advantageous to your children and your community because, as single parent Meg Lowrey puts it, “Being a single parent is not a life full of struggles, but a journey for the strong.”

Why being a strong single parent is important

• Confidence goes a long way:

  When you have confidence in what you are doing and how you are parenting, your children will feed off that energy and learn by example. In turn, they too will have the ability to become assertive and driven individuals that will surely play valuable roles in their communities.

• Self-sufficiency:

  It’s great to have the help of a partner, but if you don’t have the assistance of another individual to help you with raising your children, developing an independence model that works for you and your family will be beneficial for you in the long term for the creation of goal achievements and financial stability.

• Breaking the cycle:

  Once you empower yourself as a single parent to be the best you can be, it helps to create generational stability for your offspring and their offspring, empowering them towards a successful life.

• The right choice:

  Being the most empowered parent you can be is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family to make positive choices.

Top 10 tips for single parents

It’s not an easy road, but you are willing to do what it takes to be the best parent you can be for your children. We here at Be Strong have compiled a list of 10 tips to help you navigate the sole responsibility of parenthood.

1. Plan in advance:

   Planning is essential and organization is key. Try to coordinate and manage as much as you possibly can in advance for everything, including lunches, school clothing, trips, extracurricular activities, play dates, and homework. Once you are organized, it will help make life easier for both you and your children go smoother.

2. Save your coins:

   We can’t emphasize enough the importance of saving for a rainy day. For example, try to put away a small portion a month and get advice on your finances, because children can be expensive and emergency funds will always come in handy. Our Strong Money Mentality program for adults helps build better decision-making skills with regard to finances.

3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help:

   Don’t let pride get in the way of asking for assistance from time to time. If you need help asking friends and family to lend a hand with babysitting, school runs, and other things you might need for your children to thrive, do so. And remember, Be Strong is here for you.

4. Build a support system and community:

   There is so much power in community, and having a good support system as a single parent is vital. Join single parent communities like those available at Be Strong or online groups to interact with other single moms and dads on how to navigate single parenthood. Also, lean on family and friends to support you when needed.

5. Self-care is the best care:

   You know the adage, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” As a single parent, you need to ensure that you are taking care of yourself to take care of your children. Exercise, get enough sleep, make time for spa days, meditate, and/or have a girls’ or guys’ night out on occasion. Do things that fuel your soul to be the best parent you can be.

6. Create routines and traditions:

   Structure is important. Try to be as consistent in your daily life as possible, creating routines. Ideally, do something or create activities that both you and the children can count on doing daily or weekly that will spark joy and keep you connected on a different level. Examples are praying, meditation, playing car games like ‘I Spy’ on the way to school, or creating designated days of the week for a fun dinner night: Taco Tuesday or pizza night will be just right.

7. Love not war:

   If there happens to be another parent in the mix, please make it a point to never criticize the other parent in front of your children. Children are sponges and don’t need the negativity of hearing bad things about their other parents. Work on heart skills together. Take the high road as best as you can.

8. Empower yourself:

   You are doing a good job, and don’t let anybody tell you differently. Learn new skills and even take classes that can assist you on your journey of being a single parent. Remember, you are never too old to learn something new.

9. Don’t let guilt consume you:

   Don’t spoil your children in an effort to make up for being a single parent. It’s a recipe for disaster. Ensure they keep up with their chores and adhere to the rules that are set out. Praise them when they do the right things, but don’t fall victim to the guilt of being a single parent and letting your children have their own way.

10. Say sorry:

    Children learn from examples. Yes, you are the parent, but make it a point to be honest with your kids and apologize to them when you are wrong for your mistakes. Respect goes both ways.

Be Strong Parents

We know that being a single parent isn’t always easy and good help can be hard to come by, so if you need advice or help, Be Strong is always here for you. Our parenting education program, Raising the B.A.R. Parent Alliance, is a helpful resource. 

Raising the B.A.R. (Budding Adult Relationships) is a free parenting workshop program designed to teach parents and caregivers how to raise happy, healthy children. It provides workshops through The Children’s Trust, which funds neighborhood initiatives aimed at enhancing the lives of children and families.

Raising the B.A.R. parenting workshops address issues such as discipline, self-esteem, social media safety, family involvement, and others. Ready to Talk, our teen-focused session, examines parents’ and teens’ attitudes, developing heart skills, perceptions, practices, and decision-making processes regarding sexual activity.

Click here to learn more about Raising the B.A.R. and sign up for a workshop. 

To learn more about our Youth and Parenting programs, click here.

As a parent of a teenager, this conversation might sound familiar to you:

     “How was your day?”

     “Fine.”

     “That’s it? Just fine?”

     “Yup.”

These one-sided, one-word answer conversations can frustrate parents. We’re going to show you ways to show love to your teen, and get them to open up and communicate with you. 

Teenagers put walls up and are more interested in spending time with their friends than with their parents, and the parents don’t understand how to get their teen to confide in them. Even though you’re angry and frustrated, it’s important to use love and logic with teenagers. And equally important, is the parents’ unconditional love. In this article, we will discuss the following:

• You aren’t alone: Get to know your child’s friends and their parents **
• Single-parent homes where the parent works: Support system is crucial 
• Unique challenges faced by foster families
• Time and listening
• Love between parents: Don’t let teens pit you against each other. Talk through issues and present a united front; be willing to compromise.
• Unconditional love: Be their friend, less authority, more freedom, but not too much.  
• How much freedom is too much?

You’re not alone: Don’t be afraid to ask for help and set up a support network. As a result, this can be mutually beneficial.

A strong support network includes your teen’s teachers, friends and family, your spouse or partner, and the parents of your teen’s friends. Everyone needs a support system; people to listen, professionals to offer advice, and acquaintances who are going through the same struggles that you are, to listen and offer advice and help.

In addition, many communities have parenting support groups. Belonging to a supportive circle of friends can help ease your burden and give you a sense of empowerment.

Get to know your child’s friends and their parents. 

Chances are they are enduring the same struggles. As a result, connecting with the parents of your child’s friends, you can support each other and be part of your child’s life without being overbearing and intrusive. For example, when your daughter is growing through her teen years and you open your home to her friends and get to know their parents as well.

Be Strong International offers some great tips on building strong parent and teenager relationships:

https://bestrongintl.org/programs/the-secrets-to-a-great-parent-and-teenager-relationship/

Love between parents.

Don’t let your teen pit you against each other. Instead, talk about issues and present a united front. Be willing to compromise. Compromise means seeing things from your partner’s point of view and not always assuming that only your opinions are correct. Love between parents, and letting your teen see it, is important to providing a stable environment where your teen feels safe and loved.

Communication and listening skills are equally important.

Parent’s unconditional love towards their teen, along with love and logic, will foster effective communication.

Effective communication begins with listening. Let your teen know it is safe to open up to you. Now is the time to transition from parent to friend. The old adage, “Be their parent, not their friend” is not as effective anymore. Teenagers tend to be rebellious by nature. As a result, too strict parenting at this stage of their lives will often have the opposite effect of what you want. All too often, teenagers run away from home because their parents are too strict. The teen felt that their parents never listened and never tried to understand them. Remember how you felt when you were a teenager? As a result, this may help you better understand and help your teenager navigate the problems of adolescence. 

In addition, giving them more freedom will foster responsibility and a sense of empowerment in your teen. Show love and logic with teens as you set boundaries and explain your reasons.

Be their friend, less authority, more freedom, but not too much.

How much freedom is too much?

How much freedom you give your teen depends on several things like their age or emotional readiness. For example, you wouldn’t give the same amount of freedom to a thirteen-year-old that you would to an eighteen-year-old. This also depends on how much your teen is ready for. Each child is different. Get to know your teen by spending time with them and actively listening.

TeenRehab.org says to expect your teen to push the boundaries. Be ready to explain why you set those boundaries. This is another important reason for you and your partner to show a united front.

Time and listening

Active listening means you don’t prejudge. Here is where you need to transition from parent to friend (as long as they aren’t indulging in risky behavior). This is a fine line to walk, but it is important to reign in your emotions and show love and logic. Teenagers will respond in the same way.

Unique family dynamics such as single-parent homes where the parent works and foster families.

These types of homes are becoming more common: families where the parents have separated or divorced and where one or both parents work. Teenagers who are in foster homes have to deal with a whole distinct set of problems. This issue deserves an entire article dedicated to it, but we’ll cover it briefly here.

Single-parent homes where the parent works

Single-parent homes where the parent works are common. It’s difficult for single parents to keep tabs on their teens, but it’s not impossible. The teen might also feel resentful that their parent is not around as much as they would like. They may also split their time with the other parent, making it difficult for the parents to present a united front if they have different parenting approaches.

Fostering parents often have their own biological children in the home, and it’s difficult to plan for the future, as the fostered teen may only be in their home for a short time before returning to their birth family.

An effective support system is crucial.

Seek help from teachers, after-school program staff, and other parents. Be Strong International also offers tips and resources to help you find the best after-school program for your teen:

https://bestrongintl.org/programs/what-to-look-for-in-the-best-after-school-clubs-for-kids-today/

https://bestrongintl.org/programs/what-3-problems-do-most-single-parents-face/

Unique challenges faced by foster families

Being a foster parent can come with its own set of challenges when it comes to showing love to your and getting them to listen to you. They can include:

• Uncertainty about the future as judges or case workers might decide to send foster children back to their birth family.
• Visits from birth parents and siblings.
• These factors can disrupt the home life of the foster family.

Very Well Family lists more details on the unique challenges of raising foster, the family dynamics, and how to approach them. There is support for families of teens, no matter where you are.

In Conclusion

Finally, be patient. Change takes time. There will still be turbulent times with your teen, but if you show patience, use your support network, and listen with love, you and your teen will develop a stronger and better relationship.

Be Strong International offers a myriad of support and resources to teenagers, parents, and families in Miami-Dade communities. A helpful resource we offer parents of teens is “Raising the B.A.R.”

Raising the B.A.R

Our Raising the B.A.R. program helps support parents and families of teens by providing them with educational workshops, services, and resources to raise happy and healthy teens. 

For more information and to register for a workshop, visit Parent Workshops Calendar

Key Takeaways

Here are the key takeaways from this article:

• Communication 
• Active listening without prejudging 
• Unconditional love with teens 
• Support system
• Establish boundaries

Your teenager has returned to school after the summer vacation. At the beginning of the new school year, your teen may experience feelings of excitement or anxiety. However, you can make the most of this time by laying the groundwork for your teen’s academic success. As a parent, it is important that our teens be confident in themselves. As teens go through self-discovery and search for their place in the world, many encounter circumstances that test their self-beliefs. In this article, we will discuss ways to build self-confidence in your teenager and prepare them at the start of the school year.

Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Children who were confident as kids may lose it as teens. Adolescence is often a time of self-doubt, poor body image, and insecurity for many. Good news: You can help improve low self-esteem in teenager, which in turn will benefit them in many other ways. Confident teens can handle peer pressure, navigate dating relationships, make good decisions, and recover from setbacks. Here are a few ways to help build confidence and self-esteem in your teenagers:

●    Show unconditional love

When we condition our love on our teen’s actions, we diminish the power of unconditional love and undermine the belief that they are worthy of our affection regardless of their behavior. Assure your adolescent that your affection for them is unconditional and unrelated to how well they achieve in school, the company they keep, where they attend university, etc.

●    Build confidence at home

A fixed attitude prevents many adolescents from expanding their sense of who they are and what they are capable of. Even though your kid seems to be rejecting the idea of improvement, there is always space for development. Discuss how the human brain is continually developing and expanding. Write down some thoughts on areas in which you’ve observed your adolescent develop. This will help with building self-esteem in teens and start building their confidence.

●    Make room for failure

A teen’s sense of self-worth can be directly tied to how their parents respond to the inevitable failures and setbacks they will eventually face. Criticizing, overreacting, or ignoring it will only convey a message that there is no room for growth as a result of their experiences. Stop worrying so much and talk to your teen about it. Teens are capable of overcoming challenges if they see them as opportunities for growth.

●    Develop new skills or interests

Although your teen’s brain is developing rapidly at this time, you may notice that they are having more difficulty in some areas than they were before. Insist that your teen perceive each difficulty or area of worry as a chance to develop new skills and broaden their horizons. Build on your teen’s interests to help them discover new skills.

●    Don’t let them give up

Teenagers may not always need to feel confident before embarking on anything new or difficult. If they commit fully to anything, they embrace a growth attitude and can gain confidence along the way.

●    Give reassurance

Teen’s often experience difficulties as they begin to transition into adulthood, but this does not make them bad people. You should reassure your teen that they are not bad for choosing an activity over having a romantic partner or ending bad friendships. Building self-esteem and confidence often means taking bold stands.

●    Create a safe space

If you want your teen to feel secure and confident, you should provide them with a safe environment in which to do so. Imagine different scenarios and act them out, varying your responses, voice volume, tone, and any nonverbal cues you use. When teaching teens self-esteem, those who struggle to communicate clearly, they can benefit from having a safe space to do so at home.

●    Encourage self-compassion

Encourage your adolescent to practice self-compassion if they are unable to break free from a negative or limiting mindset regarding their worth. To cultivate a healthy growth mindset, we must be kind and patient with ourselves as we continue to learn and grow. Have them install apps that promote mindfulness, come up with uplifting mantras, or write positive affirmations down in a place where they will see them frequently.

●    Explore different activities or interests

Teenagers who do a lot of different things, like sports, clubs, volunteering, and schoolwork, tend to feel better about themselves. They don’t let a setback in one area bring them down because they have other things that make them feel good about themselves. As a parent, if you continue to be supportive, reassuring, and optimistic, your teen will feel confident and capable in themselves.

●    Listen

To be empathic, you don’t need to agree with your teen. Do not judge, assume, or leap to conclusions. Focus on listening rather than being correct or having the last word as a parent. Listening builds self-esteem and self-worth in teens.

●    Model confidence

If your adolescent is watching you, they’re observing how you handle tough situations and how you feel about yourself. Consider your self-esteem and confidence, and be objective. Adopt a healthy mentality and seek experiences and activities that build your self-confidence.

Tips to Prepare for School

Keeping your teen interested in school and extracurricular activities can be accomplished by maintaining an active, but not overbearing, relationship with them Now, let’s examine some back-to-school tips and tricks that will help you and your teen transition into the new school year.

1. Prepare teen for school

Back-to-school preparation should begin at home, and parents can help their teen get off to a strong start by incorporating various back-to-school strategies and practices into their family’s regular activities. Breakfast, sleep, and limiting screen time are three ways that you can assist them in tackling the day without interfering with their increasing level of independence.

2. Help them become more organized

As any parent who has had to clean their child’s room can attest, no one is born with exceptional organizational skills. The ability to organize one’s life can lead to greater success in middle and high school, which can serve as the foundation for future success.

3. Prepare them for academic success

When you have more classes, there is also more material to study and more work to complete. Keeping on top of their homework can help students maintain control over other aspects of their lives. Every school night, adolescents may have assignments that take several hours to complete. Providing assistance to them in the management of their workload can go a long way toward assisting them in the organization of their lives.

4. Promote extracurricular activities

It is beneficial to a teen’s sense of belonging when they participate in extracurricular activities outside of the classroom, such as theater club, art club, or playing a sport. Teamwork and a sense of belonging are two important building blocks for self-confidence, and encouraging participation in organized school activities can help students develop both.

Be Strong International

Ensure that your teen is confident and prepared for a successful school year. Maintain close contact with your teen while also giving them the independence they require to grow into unique and strong individuals. As mentioned in our list above, boosting teenage self-esteem with activities is a great way to start. Be Strong International, for example, is an organization that helps teens navigate all areas of their lives.

Be Strong International is a non-profit organization based in Miami-Dade County with the mission of guiding individuals and families from brokenness to wholeness by providing educational services and resources to assist them in developing and maintaining healthy relationships. They are dedicated to assisting teenagers in becoming strong and thriving individuals in school and in life.

Their Project H.O.P.E. program assists teens and young adults in making better decisions about their relationships, character, careers, and finances. These interactive workshops are intended to guide and empower young people from public and private schools, churches, and community organizations. Every kid is welcome! This program addresses difficult topics and deals with real-life situations. The Project H.O.P.E. staff fosters an educational environment that is open, honest, realistic, and evidence-based. For more information about Project H.O.P.E, click here.

Their “After-School Club” program aims to guide middle school aged children by integrating holistic enrichment activities such as arts and academic support, as well as a unique curriculum that meets their social, emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical needs. For more information about the Be Strong After School Club, click here.

The “Girls Empowerment Mastery Sessions” (GEMS) program at Be Strong aims to provide teen girls with the tools they need to “find their voice” in all aspects of life, including social, emotional, mental, and physical dimensions. According to research, it is quite common for girls approaching adolescence to experience what is known as “loss of voice.” This is defined as the inability to fully express or value one’s own thoughts and feelings. This program will help her discover her own voice and building confidence in your teenager. For more information about the Girls Empowerment Mastery Sessions, click here.

If you have any questions feel free to reach out to us through our Contact Us page or write to us on the Chat Box located on the bottom right corner of this website.

The mission of bringing communities together is more vital today than ever before. The building block to unifying our communities begins with what is called social empathy. Social empathy is the ability to understand people by perceiving or experiencing their life situations and, as a result, gaining insight into structural inequalities and disparities. As author Elizabeth A. Segal states in her book “Social Empathy,”

“Our ability to understand others and help others understand us is essential to our individual and collective well-being. Yet there are many barriers that keep us from walking in the shoes of others: fear, skepticism, and power structures that separate us from those outside our narrow groups. To progress in a multicultural world and ensure our common good, we need to overcome these obstacles. Our best hope can be found in the skill of empathy.”

Social empathy opens the door to communication to build relationships within one’s community. So, let’s discuss why social empathy is important in bringing communities together and how you can exhibit empathy in your everyday life to those around you.

The Importance of Social Empathy

As humans, we are hardwired for social interaction and community. But somewhere along the way, our perspective on community shifted, and we now find it difficult to empathize with many people. We are social beings. We survive and thrive in communities because we rely on one another. We have a habit of getting involved in each other’s lives. But, to do so, we must be able to emote empathy for one another.

Even though we are more connected these days thanks to social media and the internet, we have actually begun to become less social and more introverted, desiring to be alone and closing our eyes to the small acts of violence and injustice that occur around us.

As reported on SocialEmpathy.org, a lack of social empathy can lead to:

• Bullying
• Violent crimes
• Child abuse
• Domestic violence
• Sexual assault
• Narcissism

And in a larger social construct, a lack of empathy can fester and grow into:

• Racism
• Prejudice
• Victim Blaming
• Distrust

To combat these negative empathetic restraints, it’s important that we get back to a place of showing empathy to those around us. It’s not about just retweeting or reposting on your social media accounts but through your actions. For meaningful change to occur, we must become more empathic to EVERYONE around us, especially those who think, look, or act different than us. Let’s take a look at ways you can become more socially empathetic.

How to Become More Socially Empathetic

Learn to empathize with yourself first if you want to increase your empathy. If you suppress your own emotions, it will be very challenging to comprehend another person’s emotions. Your capacity to comprehend what other people are thinking and feeling will steadily improve as you work to better understand your own emotions and those of others.

As you continue to develop your social empathy skills, you can begin to find more ways that you can be more empathic in your day-to-day life. Some great ways to start are:

• Become curious about people you don’t know.

Empathetic people are curious about those around them. They may strike up conversations with strangers or observe others with openness. They are people who kept that natural curiosity we all had when were children. This curiosity helps us empathize because it exposes us to different world views, lifestyles, and people we would not usually meet.

• Focus on similarities rather than differences.

Every single one of us has biases. There are always ways to put other people into boxes and make assumptions about them based on stereotypes or cultural stigmas. Doing this to others keeps us from understanding other people’s individuality and unique qualities. This can help us to better understand them.

• Put yourself in someone’s shoes.

For example, instead of walking past the homeless person in the train station and simply thinking about how unclean they look, try and get a better idea of their life. This could be anything from bringing them a meal or care package and saying “Hello”, to volunteering at a homeless shelter. Either way, immersing yourself in the lives and experiences of others is a great way to increase your empathy.

• Listen, but also share.

Empathy is not just about having empathy for others but also about showing ourselves to others. Trusting someone with your genuine thoughts and feelings is crucial to building a healthy and empathetic relationship with someone else. Empathy is fantastic because it is not just a one-way street. It can go both ways.

• Connect with social action movements.

Empathy doesn’t have to be just an individualistic concept. It can extend to large groups of people and exist in a global or community-wide plane. Getting involved in advocacy groups or charity efforts within your community is a great way to embody empathy.

• Get creative with it.

So often, people think that just because someone disagrees with them or if the other person lives a different lifestyle than they do, that person doesn’t deserve empathy. Using your imagination and creativity is essential when empathy seems hard or even impossible. Through your creativity, empathy is possible even when you didn’t ever think it could be.

Children and Empathy

It’s important to set an example for your child when trying to teach them empathy. The child will then have a better understanding of what empathy feels, sounds, and looks like. Children who experience empathy more often are more likely to extend it to those around them. Here are ways you can teach your children social empathy:

1. Discuss emotions openly rather than dismissing or burying them. If your child dislikes another child, do not immediately say, “That’s wrong,” but rather inquire as to why. Never punish a child who is upset or angry. Make it clear that all emotions are welcome and learn healthy ways to manage them.
2. Help others locally, globally, or at home. Activities for kids can aid in their development of empathy and kindness. They can also give kids the chance to socialize with people from different backgrounds, ages, and situations
3. Praise your child when he or she shows empathy for others. Emphasizing and encouraging empathetic behavior leads to more of it in the future.

Be Strong In The Community

Social empathy is a vital part of building a strong community. It enables us to have the capacity to overcome obstacles, to choose what type of community and society we want to live in and to determine how we might progress towards our common ideals. Every community needs people who are well-informed, empowered, and have emotional intelligence to use their voices to contribute to an open dialogue on social issues and other topics. “A strong community stems from healthy relationships between its members, Be Strong International is committed to providing education and resources to support and restore our communities.

Be Strong International is a leading non-profit organization that works with youth and families in South Florida. Be Strong International also works collaboratively with other organizations to provide community events that support families and children such as food drives, toy drives, and back-to-school supply drives.

Be Strong has created a social vehicle geared toward encouraging empathy within the community through a program called “Be Strong At The Table” (BSATT). BSATT is a unique relationship-building experience offered through a dining activity. This project is intently focused on increasing social empathy and encouraging healthy dialogue among community members despite their differences.

To learn more about Be Strong At The Table, visit https://bestrongintl.org/programs-old/be-strong-at-the-table/.

Social Yaks: The Social Empathy Game

Games are often played to have fun, to be challenged or simply to socialize with other people. Be Strong International used its expertise in healthy relationships to create a fun game tool that helps engage and connect people from all walks of life.

Social Yaks breaks the ice and inspires understanding. From light conversation starters to questions that dig deeper, each level pushes players to show insight and share feelings, experiences, and memories to create empathy towards one another and build stronger connections.

To learn more about Social Yaks, visit www.bestrongintl.org/social-yaks/.

For more information and updates on events and programs, follow Be Strong International on social media @bestrongintl or through their website https://bestrongintl.org.